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It felt so good as the flight descended on the grounds of dubai. I couldnt contain my smile =D

I wanted to keep it under the radar to suprise my friend, naksh on her birthday buut that was a fail. I just ended up making a plan with her and we spent the day catching up.
Ive missed a month , and i couldnt be happier to be back.
But now ramadan begins.
So if you dont hear from me for a while , its because i'll be hibernating like a bear in my room mostly everyday.

Here's to catching up and camwhoring <3

Goodbye

" After a while, You'll learn the difference betwen holding a hand and falling in love.

You begin to learn that kisses dont always mean something.

Promises can be broken, just as quick as they are made.

And sometimes Goodbyes really are Forever.''

There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you. You memorized their laugh, their smile, & their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you & you don’t want to let go even though you know it’s just an illusion.

Every time your phone rings, you smile because it’s them that’s calling. Every time you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can’t even breathe. You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry. All you want is to go back in time. Not to the time that you first met, to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you’re in denial. You hide your feeling so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don’t let a single tear break through. You’re so used to hiding your feelings that you don’t even realize the pain you’re causing for yourself. Your thoughts becomes invisible.

 It’s still there, but no ones knows.

Like a love letter you didn’t slow.

And you’re hurting no one but yourself.

A close friend of mine always referred to the pain in love as a tooth that has just been pulled out.

Because he has been a major part of your life, of course you’ll miss him; it’s perfectly normal. It’s like getting a tooth pulled out; after the dentist pulls it out you’re relieved. But how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day.Just because it was hurting you does not mean you don’t notice it. It leaves a gap, & sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take awhile, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it’s going to hurt.

 I think everyone has a certain part of their lives where they truly wish they could just freeze time. Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come, whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning & people would stop changing. because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.

Maybe not everything is supposed to last forever? So its time to let go..

Camwhoring session 2

 

Bruised and scarred

Some wounds take longer to heal than others. You know how they say when something bad happens , something good always comes along.. well im starting to doubt the good part cause all I seem to be experiencing is the negative and trust me, it sucks. Karma is it? Well whatever it is Ive lost all hope cause of it.

And with every day I feel even worse. To jump out of bed and drag my feet , felt so easy to do earlier cause I knew i had something to look forward to, I Knew my day was going to go well cause I was going to MAKE it go well either way. I was filled with a surge of postivity but now, its just not like that anymore.

I drag my feet, get out of bed for the fuck of it. I dont look forward to another lonely day..

' I was alone in the dark and the fear was my truth'

Recovery

"The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered anything at all. You're a whole new person with a whole new life."

Brrrr.

I just had the best 4 days in the outskirts of srilanka with friends and family !

Poker nights, horse riding, walks in the morning and nights , late night movies and room service , sightseeing, hiking, mountain biking , midnight swims and soooo much more ! The place we visited was called Nuwaraeliya and it was so beautiful, the peaceful serenity and the cold weather made it even better. It was more like winter cause it was around 17-18 degrees there but I loved it either way.

There were so many other places to see but unfortunately we dint have time , but I still had fun =D

mini videoooo of all the places coming up sooooon.

Rainy days

You know how they say when you're taking a shower, the journey in the car/bus/plane and staying in on a rainy day are the times you ponder on life and make life decisions or think about things you kept locked up inside your head for a while? Well all of that is so true. I speak for myself lying on this bed under the duvet with a cup of hot chocolate to warm myself up on a rainy day.
Im not really making life decisions but yes dwelling on some old memories.
Reminiscing sometimes suck but can sometimes bring back a smile to your face just thinking about all the good times you've been through and not just the bad.
I know i've had alot of warm memories since last year, last year was a good year for so many reasons I'd rather not mention but this year is just a better year. EVEN with all the ups and downs, successes and failures, losses and gains Im still here standing through it all, whether alone or with my friends by my side.
truly, we all need our friends when times get hard but sometimes you know that you should trust no one but yourself.
Ive learnt not to depend on anyone anymore but yes, there are those few I lean on for support when times get hard cause they're always there to put that smile back on my face :)
Well what im trying to say is, thank you, to each and every one of those people who have been able to do that. I would love to start mentioning names but that'd take a whole list to do. so you all know who YOU are , need I mention <3
Its just nice to know there are some willing to sacrifice anything to just be there for you. And if that's not the case then they were never really there for you, it was just a show case they put up to seek attention and show that they were the better friend to you when really, they weren't.
I like to relate to this quote from grey's anatomy:

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."